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User talk:ModeratelyMorbid
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the User blog:ModeratelyMorbid/My Imagination page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Look at what our editors have written at the User Submissions page. If you upload OC (Original Content, or something that you wrote instead of found on the Internet), be sure to tag it with the Category:OC category AND add it to the User Submissions page. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! LOLSKELETONS (talk) 00:20, December 3, 2013 (UTC) Reuploaded story Please don't reupload your deleted story; it's against the rules. If you really want your story back so badly, make a case on Deletion Appeal instead. If you reupload a deleted pasta again, you will receive a 1-day suspension from editing. LOLSKELETONS (talk) 02:35, December 6, 2013 (UTC) Notice of Deletion Appeal Rejection Hello, I'm sorry to tell you that your deletion appeal has been rejected. Contrary to your belief, there are quite a few grammatical errors, mostly dealing with commas and improper capitalization. The big problem is with the story itself. It's not told very well. First off, there's not much of a story or content. Guy sees a weird person in the basement, ends up locked down there, hears voices, gets out. Now, that could be a good story, but the way it's written now makes it read like a summary. You need to flesh it out. Don't gloss over things, tell us how the character is feeling, what he's thinking, making it flow better. When the voices kick in, don't have the character tell us what the voices are saying just write the dialogue. That will make it much less passive. Don't write stories the way you would tell a story to a friend. That sort of very quick, kind of uninvolved way. You need to paint a picture and draw your readers in. Here is a copy of your story: http://pastebin.com/6fC3wfsc If you do a lot of work on it, feel free to submit it to deletion appeal again. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 07:05, December 24, 2013 (UTC) RE: Deletion Confusion He moved your appeal to the bottom of the page. You did do a lot of work on the story and that's really good. It's good that you had the ambition to do the work and the general idea of what you did is good. There's still some issues though. Punctuation is a big problem. A lot of your sentences and phrasing are very awkward and clunky. That's a hard one to give advice on, because it's very much a feeling thing. Like: "this is when I began to hear soft whispers, I couldn't make out what they said but I could tell that there were many voices, it sounded almost as if they were debating, what I heard next was a clearly audible scream not one of pain or anguish, but of rage and a burning fury." There's a lot of problems with that sentence. First of all, it's way too long. You need to break it up. This is an issue through out the story. So, let's chop it up: "This is when I began to hear soft whispers. I couldn't make out what they said, but I could tell there were many voices. It sounded almost as if they were debating. What I heard next was a clearly audible scream. Not one of pain or anguish, but of rage and a burning fury." Now that it's broken up, we can work on the flow. This is where the feeling comes in. I always like to read things out loud, so I can hear how they sound. Take words out, rearrange words, use different words, combine sentences, whatever you can do to make it sound better. A good rule of thumb is if you can take a word out and the sentence still makes sense, you don't need that word. That's an extreme philosophy, it can leave your work very dry, but it will help the flow greatly. Here's what I would do with it: "I heard the soft whispers of many voices. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but it sounded like they were arguing. Then, there was a scream. One of rage and burning fury." You still have every element of your sentence, but it flows much better. I think this general clunkiness of style was LOLSKELETONS big issue (along with the grammar). I know it's frustrating to do a lot of work and still be told your work isn't good enough. It's not a good feeling, but it is necessary. I'm guessing you really enjoy writing from the simple fact that you did major work on your story. That's great. I wish we had more people like you, people who actually give a shit. And if you like writing you're going to have to go through things like this to get better. I know it's not the answer you were looking for, but I think you should keep trying. You've already made such a noticeable improvement that I really hope this doesn't discourage you. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 08:09, January 3, 2014 (UTC) :And if you want any help for me, I would be glad to do whatever I can. The amount of work you put in was admirable and I would hate to see you abandon it. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 08:32, January 3, 2014 (UTC) Workshop Wiki Post your revision here: http://igtbtgworkshop.wikia.com/wiki/IGTBTG_Workshop_Wiki This way, you can compare versions and see what changes get made. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 22:20, January 3, 2014 (UTC) Just Letting You Know I haven't forgot about your story. I've just been busy and I will get to it. Thanks for your patience. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 19:36, January 5, 2014 (UTC) :I did a quick, light pass on the first half and want to see how you do with the rest of it. Take your time, there's no rush. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 19:29, January 6, 2014 (UTC) hi :3 im Kitten33 or you can call me Ally. Im a reader of creepypasta and i tought we should become friends to we can tell each other what we should read :3. leave something on mine please and thank you Kitten33 (talk) 17:19, March 7, 2014 (UTC)Kitten33